Sunday, September 27, 2009

What if...

This spring, after a week of dreary drizzling days, I was laying on the bed, utterly exhausted and emotional from pregnancy and morning sickness and disappointment when a dear friend called. After telling me about what she had been up to, she asked, "Sometimes it feels like life just couldn't get any better, doesn't it?!"

"Um, I'm so happy for you..." I said, trying to avoid the question. I sure hoped "life could get better"!

This conversation keeps coming to mind. The days since William was born have flown by so quickly: full of answered prayers, sweet baby smiles, toddler kisses, time with my wonderful husband and the love of friends and family. Sometimes it seems that my cup of blessing simply couldn't contain another drop.

As I stood looking out the window a few weeks ago, with William and Rosalind peacefully sleeping, the sun shining brightly on my little garden and sending it's light dancing across the floor, a sudden feeling, almost of panic, seized me.

What if the fact that I'm so utterly happy now, means that postpartum depression will hit extra hard tomorrow? What if Joshua doesn't get a summer job again next year, even though he has worked so hard and done so well? Will I be able to handle his intense schedule knowing that all his hard work is not paying off like I want it to? What if William starts to get colicky and I don't get any sleep and the neighbor gets mad and...? What if, what if, what if...

And then I laughed. What if all those things happen? Will that change the fact that God is in control? Will His care for us cease? Of course not. And of course life will not always be full of supreme happiness unmixed with trials. Both are part of God's good gifts. I must learn to hold the blessings with open hands, knowing that He who gave can take away, but that either way His name should be blessed.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

So spoiled

All summer long I'd been dying to plant my own little garden and watch it grow. Since we didn't come back home until the beginning of September, I didn't know how much I'd actually get to plant.

But I arrived home to four thriving garden boxes that Joshua planted while I was gone. He even caged them up to keep them from becoming kitty litter boxes. I'm so spoiled! Now if only I can keep from killing the plants...

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Two weeks with two

Especially with moving back home right after William was born, I didn't know how the adjustment to life with two would be. And since nothing about recovery after Rosalind's birth was normal, I had nothing to base my expectations on. So far it couldn't have been better: I'm back with Joshua, William's such a sweet baby, Rosalind adores him, I feel great and friends and family have spoiled me with food and help.

Despite having to deal with some attitude/training issues after a summer away from home, Rosalind has handled the double transition so well. She has been such a sweet helper, always glad to run get a new diaper or put things away for "baby Wiyum".

"Mama, yook in my eyes," Rosalind said earnestly to me a few days ago. Her eyes waited for me and when I looked down she continued, "I yove you too."

Looking into her bright eyes and watching her grow up and then gazing at William as he looks up at me with an occasional grin breaking his intent stare, I wouldn't trade the name of mother for any on earth.

Just after his first bath (it's somewhat impossible to take a picture while holding a slippery baby in a sink full of water): not quite sure whether he enjoyed the bath or getting out more.

William loves sleeping anywhere but in his bed. He was cuddled up in his car seat sound asleep as we got ready to eat dinner tonight.

Just as we were about to sit down Joshua said, "Honey, where's your phone? I think it's buzzing."

It wasn't.

We'd barely begun when Joshua said, "Listen. Isn't that your phone?"
No, it was William snoring.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Home again

After bidding my family a fond farewell, Rosalind, William and I headed back down to Alabama early Friday morning. Joshua's mom and sweet sister Hannah made the long journey with us. I couldn't have asked for a better baby on the trip down and my one concern was that he was sleeping so well.

It was wonderful to finally pull up into our driveway again after months away from home and be reunited as a family. Rosalind walked right into her bedroom ready to play with her own toys again.

In the morning a surprise was waiting for her outside: a "new" bike (thanks Candace!). She simply couldn't get enough of it and Hannah is probably still sore from pushing her around for hours on end while Mom unpacked and cleaned and restocked our cupboards. Thank you!

Once the counters were visible in the kitchen again, Rosalind helped make bread. was so yummy!

Thrilled though I am to be home again, we will sure miss everyone! Thank you for a wonderful summer.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

A Normal Birth

It seems hardly just to say “normal” because everything turned out so perfectly, but normal is exactly what we were praying for…

Joshua had to return to school on the 10th of August and I stayed here with Rosalind. Within 24 hours I realized that I would make an awful military wife. Grouchiness was always lurking around the corner and it was a constant struggle to enjoy the precious days with family rather than pine to be with Joshua.

At my check up the morning after he left, William, who had been head down for months, was completely transverse. I hadn’t felt him move, so it came as quite a surprise. But that night, I watched as he moved into the breech position. My next appointment was the following Monday and in the mean time I made the mistake of looking online for ideas to flip a breech baby and came across enough horror stories to make me even more emotional. But God answered prayers and on Monday the doctor pronounced him head down again.

The plan was for Joshua to make the ten hour drive back to Missouri as soon as I went into labor and hope that he made it. But by the 27th we were both missing each other so much that he decided to come see us and just hope that William would come while he was here. One of my dearest friends was getting married on Friday, and that way he would make it to the wedding too.

He left Thursday as soon as class was over and pulled up at my family’s house the next morning at five. After catching a few hours of sleep, we spent a very happy day together talking, going on a long walk and taking Rosalind down to the creek to feed the fish.

The wedding was absolutely gorgeous. Aneysa looked like an angelic Southern belle and the reception, which was held on her parents’ lawn, was a picture perfect Southern country wedding.

I had been dosing up on red raspberry leaf tea, evening primrose oil and numerous other things that I’d heard might bring on labor. But even the rather strong Braxton hicks that I’d been having all week had pretty much died down. I was beginning to loose any hope that labor would begin while Joshua was there, but we decided to join in a few of the country dances and see if that might induce William to come. Still no contractions. We were both tired and headed to bed for a good night’s sleep…

After sleeping in Saturday morning, the contractions began. When we first learned that we couldn’t have him at the birthing clinic like we had hoped, my dear midwife Robyn offered to still come to the birth with us. We found a wonderful doctor who was very supportive of laboring naturally. He told us that we could do the early labor at home and come in when I hit transition. Especially since my labor was over thirty hours last time and I threw up repeatedly I didn’t think my low blood sugar would handle another long labor on nothing but a 4 ounce IV and ice chips.

my wonderful labor team :)

Robyn came around 11:00 that morning. I was dilated to a four and William was doing great. Labor progressed rather slowly for the next few hours, and I was so glad to be “home”. (Well, at my parent’s house, my dad had cleared the house of all the kiddos.)

By about 4:00 I was only at a six, but the contractions picked up in intensity. Robyn had been checking William’s heart rate all along, and he had been doing great, but then I tried to lay down. Through the next contraction his heart rate dropped precipitously. I started panicking, but Robyn told me to sit up and then he did great.

About twelve hours after labor began, I had dilated to an eight and we decided it was time to head to the hospital. After the initial bumpy dirt road, the car ride nearly put me to sleep.

We arrived at the hospital and the nicest nurse took charge. She was surprised when she realized that I was at an eight (even though I told her I’d been in labor all day) and quickly introduced us to the doctor on call—who we also really liked. Normally they only let two people stay, but Joshua, Robyn and both moms got to be there (on the condition that they would clear out if there were serious complications again this time). What a blessing to get to have all of their support and love, and especially that Joshua got to be there!

The time passed slowly until it came time to push, and then the doctor almost didn’t have his gloves on in time to catch the baby. William arrived at 12: 36 with a gusty cry, but soon settled down into alert contentedness.

For the next twenty minutes, there was a silent tension in the room as the doctor quickly and carefully delivered the placenta: which was intact and came easily. What an answer to prayer! And what an amazing difference from last time! With Rosalind, the bad part was just beginning.

After venting his hearty disapprobation of hospital scales, William roomed in with us and was so sweet and calm… and I actually got to hold him! What a difference not hemorrhaging terribly makes.

From that point on laughed numerous times just comparing the two births. I felt the glee of a two year old when I laid down on the hospital bed and could actually reach over and push the button to raise it. That was such an accomplishment last time! Even hospital food tastes great when you’re not on a restricted diet.

My wonderful husband stayed with us ‘til Tuesday when we were released from the hospital and then headed back home…with us to follow him in a few days.

From beginning to end, we were so abundantly blessed by how perfectly God worked out each detail. Truly He “welcomed William with the blessings of goodness.” Psalm 21:3

Thursday, September 3, 2009

A few more pics...

I've been dying to get on here and post, but have either been busy or sleeping during the day. Around 3 last night I couldn't sleep and thought "What a great time to post". But my computer battery was dead, and the thought of heading down a steep flight of steps and fumbling through the dark to find the charger convinced me that I really was quite tired.

In the mean time, here are a few pictures of our little treasure:

My three favorite people. :)

Rosalind has been such a sweet big sister...even if she does nearly squash him when trying to give him a kiss.

"One, two free, four finners" Rosalind said and sat back contentedly. Thankfully the fifth one was hiding there somewhere.